Putting on my own mask first

Lately I have been a big ball of emotions. I could blame it on sleep deprivation, stress, busyness, hormones, a response to life around me changing... probably all of the above. 

Last week seemed to play out like a comedy of errors in our house. My poor husband was diagnosed with an ulcer and began a regimen of drugs to battle the bacteria growing inside him. The, mid-week Ella came down with a fever and was not able to go to daycare, and I was in the midst of one of the biggest weeks in the history of my law-firm and under no circumstances could miss work on Thursday. Come Friday, we were all exhausted.  

But, we made it through the week. When I came back to work this last Monday, I found myself in a pile of tears and exhaustion. The adrenaline had worn out. Ella was on the mend and Aaron had mastered his pill routine and was starting to feel better. Why was I still so exhausted? 

I feel as if the last 8 months of my life are catching up with me. I never knew fully how much of myself I would give to raising a human being. I used to get annoyed when people would say, "oh you'll see when you have kids..." But now I get it. Life with kids is nothing anyone could prepare you for. The unexpected ways your life change surprise you. 

What I have also learned is that I need to be kind to myself. Learn ways that I can take care of my own well being, even in simple ways. It may be cliche, but I need to learn how to put on my own oxygen mask first. 

I wish I had all the answers. I don't. I am learning and hopefully growing each step of the way.

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