Weight Wars: Coming to Terms

Back in November, I gave birth to my second child. My pregnancies have sufficiently served as massive lessons on my perpetual weight wars. 

We have all battled these internal wars for ages. Generations of women have struggled to be the "perfect" weight and body shape for their time. It is naturally built into us. It is also taught to us by society at large. We all want to look like the ideal woman. 

For many the goal is a seeing a specific number on the scale. For others, it is fitting in to that particular pant size. Meeting our weight and appearance goals are signified in different ways for everyone. 

After having my second baby, I started dropping the weight quickly (thank you breast feeding!), and was soon fitting into my pre-pregnancy jeans. The ones I had been wearing in-between babies, after I had regained a lot of weight. The number on the scale fluctuated by as much as 5 pounds in one day (thanks a lot, breast feeding). My waist seemed to be slimming but that number on the scale was still high. Still, everyone was telling me how great I looked. "I can't believe you just had a baby!"

It was then that I started to realize something. Something life changing. I did feel great about how I looked and about how I felt. I had a lot of energy, more energy than I remember having after my first baby. I was more productive, with a stronger drive to accomplish tasks each day of maternity leave. I felt different than before. 

No, the number on the scale is not the lowest it has been in my adult life. No, the size on the tags of my clothing do not reflect the sizes in my dreams. But it is not about the numbers. It is about how you feel. And I feel the healthiest I have in quite a while.

I still have physical fitness habits I would like to form but I have come a long way. And I feel like I have come to terms that maybe I won't be a certain size again and maybe I won't reach that low weight - but I will be healthy and happy. And to me, that is what matters in the end.