Weight Wars: Pregnancy Body

You have read about my personal battle with weight loss and struggling with that pesky number on the scale. I, myself, have read many articles, blogs, advice columns, Facebook status, you name it about weight loss tips and tricks and how to achieve that "perfect body."

I have also had a lot of time to reflect on this subject in the past few years and I feel my perspective shifting. Although I think my core beliefs and what has been drilled into my brain will be harder to overcome. 

After learning I was pregnant with our second child, I was partially relieved but also worried because the weight I was when we conceived was only 6 pounds less that I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant. I was scared about the number I would see on the scale should I gain the same amount of weight as the first time I was pregnant. 

Then, the typical first trimester "morning sickness" set in and I lost 16 pounds... Say what?!?!?! 

I have never in my life ever had a problem trying to gain weight. But when you head into your second trimester.. and you have yet to gain weight in a time of your life when you are expected to gain weight... it can get a little confusing. 

I couldn't quite grasp what was going on with my body. And yet, I knew it was doing what it needed to do. It is growing a life, after all. 

That was when I stopped myself and started to appreciate all that my body is capable of. I have carried a child full term and safely brought her into the world. I breastfed her for nine months. Six of those months her sole sustenance came from me. 

I have raised my daughter side by side with my amazing husband - allowing myself to be covered in bodily fluids not my own for the care of this child. I have trained for and completed a half marathon. I have managed to conceive again and my body is doing a miraculous job of incubating a growing human life - without much effort by me. In fact, sometimes I even forget I am pregnant.

This body has done and will continue to do amazing things. I should stop shaming it for not looking like what I have been taught the "ideal" body is. 

To my daughter, I am simply mommy. 

To my husband, I am sexy. 

What am I to myself when I look in the mirror? This is what I need to work on.