More Miserable
It hit me the other day while scrolling through my Facebook feed when I saw the title, "8 Reasons You Will Miss the Newborn Stage." Thoughts came streaming back about how miserable I felt and how I couldn't wait for the next stage of childhood when Ella was a newborn.
It was then I realized that parents (myself included) often create in our minds a competition to see who is in a more miserable stage of parenting. We compare and contrast how hard things are with our children during whichever stage we are currently experiencing.
Why is this? Why does parenting young children need to be portrayed as something to suffer through until things get better? Why must parents see themselves as martyrs?
I love being a mother. I enjoy my daughter. I have relished witnessing her personality emerge as she grows. And yes, there are some challenging moments. Not every minute of parenting my toddler is sunshine and rainbows. And no, you probably won't see the challenging moments displayed on Instagram or Facebook.
I find it funny that in conversation it can feel like one-upping each other over the difficulties of parenting. But when we display our atomic families over social media, these struggles can be hard to find.
I am not saying people need to stop venting their frustrations or that you should start posting pictures other than your child looking adorable. What I am saying is that we should stop making it all a competition.
If someone is telling you about a moment where they were tested and felt like a failure as a parent, allow them the space to feel it without interjecting with your own difficulties which may seem more outrageous than theirs.
Also, try not to compare and contrast when you are fighting an uphill battle and you happen upon that perfect parenting moment while perusing Instagram. Remember how many pictures you took the last time you posted about your little one?
We are all in this together. Let's try to remember that.
Why is this? Why does parenting young children need to be portrayed as something to suffer through until things get better? Why must parents see themselves as martyrs?
I love being a mother. I enjoy my daughter. I have relished witnessing her personality emerge as she grows. And yes, there are some challenging moments. Not every minute of parenting my toddler is sunshine and rainbows. And no, you probably won't see the challenging moments displayed on Instagram or Facebook.
I find it funny that in conversation it can feel like one-upping each other over the difficulties of parenting. But when we display our atomic families over social media, these struggles can be hard to find.
I am not saying people need to stop venting their frustrations or that you should start posting pictures other than your child looking adorable. What I am saying is that we should stop making it all a competition.
If someone is telling you about a moment where they were tested and felt like a failure as a parent, allow them the space to feel it without interjecting with your own difficulties which may seem more outrageous than theirs.
Also, try not to compare and contrast when you are fighting an uphill battle and you happen upon that perfect parenting moment while perusing Instagram. Remember how many pictures you took the last time you posted about your little one?
We are all in this together. Let's try to remember that.
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