Back in the Saddle

Last fall, a friend of mine posted that she was doing a on-night-only showcase of women in Omaha. "I am a woman, and I live in Omaha," I thought. So, I left a comment that I would be interested, having no clue what was to come. 

As the details began to come together, I was offered a part in one participant's 3 generation short scene and a monologue written by my aforementioned friend. I said yes, not knowing the content or subject matter - just knowing that I was ready to act again. And this was the perfect, low commitment opportunity.

You see, I used to act in local volunteer theaters all the time. I would bounce from one show to another, not feeling complete if I didn't have a project. I also dabbled in local film making, ending up in an award winning short film that was featured in multiple film festivals. I pride myself in this - I know I am good, but my attention has been elsewhere for a few years now. 

I miss performing. But I do not miss the busy rehearsal schedule, knowing it would limit my time with my family. So when this opportunity presented itself, I jumped at it. 

I received the scripts and got to work memorizing and staging the monologue. I was filled to the brim with big ideas to bring the words to life - too big of ideas, I was informed - and then I scaled back. I was may a little too eager. 

Then came rehearsal. I made the mistake that tends to get me in trouble, especially in auditions - I was thinking more that I was feeling. I got in my head and over-thought everything. I was stiff and monotonous. I could feel it and I was so disappointed in myself. I knew I could do better and here I was - failing. 

The next day, with some encouragement from my playwright and friend, I had an epiphany. I got out of my head. I made the decision to relax and have fun. Be a sloppy, big, pregnant lady who was OVER it. I took from my own experiences of being pregnant and let all the other thoughts fall to the side. What resulted was a pretty hilarious 5 minutes in front of a group of strangers (and a few who I chose to pretend were strangers). I was so proud of myself. Within a matter of weeks I had memorized and performed a monologue, deepened friendships, made new ones, and found a whole new level of confidence. 

While I haven't decided to go back completely nor have I found a role that I would be willing to sacrifice my time for... I feel that maybe that day is coming soon and I will be more ready for it than ever before. 

It's a little shaky, but click HERE to watch my monologue.


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