Tattle Tale

I hate being a tattle tale. Even worse, I hate that this term even exists. 

While lunching the other day with one of my working mom friends, we started talking about the frustration of wanting our children to let us know when there is a real situation with their friends and teaching them about not being a tattle tale. I realized that I didn't want to teach my child that specific term because it has stayed with me my whole life and sometimes it is right to report bad behavior. 

As adults, we fear making reports to management or those in authority about bad or questionable behavior of our cohorts, for fear of being labeled a "tattle tale." Even when staying quiet will do more harm than good. 

While enjoying our lunch, we tried to brainstorm better ways to teach this valuable life lesson. It is harder than you may think: do we want our children to learn how to resolve conflict on their own? Absolutely. But, I also want my daughter to have the wisdom to get help when she is in over her head. 

I want to come up with a catchy term that will teach her that if someone is hurting themselves or others or if someone is being a bully, that she should absolutely tell an adult, but privately. Don't call them out in front of other people. To know when she can solve an issue on her own or when she needs support. And to know when someone really is in trouble and she should step in to help. 

I don't have the answer but I am looking for a better solution other than teaching my daughter to "not be a tattle tale."