What if?

What if I don't do a good job?

What if I let them down?


What if they find out I have no clue what I am doing?


What if they realize I am not good enough?



What if.... How many times have you asked yourself a question like this? For me, it seems to be on a daily, if not hourly, basis.  

Insecurity can be crippling. It can cloud your judgement. For me, it rears it's ugly head around the unknown. When I don't know the answer to something or if I am unsure of what the next step is, my first reaction is to lash out. I get upset, frustrated, and confused... and I tend to take these feelings out on whoever is closest. 

The other night I was talking to my husband about the laundry.  He asked me a question about how I had sorted the clothing that confused me.  Rather than asking the appropriate question to get clarity, I was too embarrassed that I did not know what he was talking about that I picked a fight accusing him of questioning me and asking him if he thought I was stupid.  It makes me cringe re-living that moment.  The argument could have easily been avoided  - but my insecurities got the best of me.   

My poor husband... my poor co-workers... my poor friends. I am not proud of the way I have acted towards those I love the most. And I am working on this.  

The truth is, there is no one in this world who knows everything, who has all the answers. All of us are insecure about one thing or another. What I have found important to remember is that if you have built a great support system - you should learn to lean on them instead of take your negative feelings out on them.  

Sometimes I don't do a good job, that is OK. 

Sometimes I let people down, that is OK. 


I will figure out, somehow, what I am doing and how to do it well.  


If I put forth my best effort, this will always be good enough.  

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